Everyone has moments during their day that they want to be private and uneventful. Times when distraction is definitely not welcome. Using the restroom is one of those times for me.
Once my human children were grown and off on their own, I thought that I would be able to use the restroom in peace. No more knocking on the door with pseudo-emergencies, shouts of "MOM" resounding through the house, etc... Apparently once again, I was wrong.
Thursday was one of those days when I felt like I was one step behind the rest of the world. My timing was definitely off. Despite my best efforts, I was already running late, and the morning had just started. Somehow I managed to pull myself together so I could take care of errands that couldn't be put off even one more day. Before I could leave, however, I had one last thing to do - make a quick potty stop. That is when the "adventure" began.
I was finishing up my business in the small downstairs bathroom when I saw something dusty and green come sliding under the bathrom door. It was followed quickly by a small grey paw - belonging to Gracie. Whatever it was had slid just out of reach of Gracie's paw, which was currently swiping back and forth under the door.
My first reaction was exasperation. I just wanted a few more minutes of peaceful privacy to wash up properly. She would just have to wait to get her icky-looking toy back. I wasn't going to be rushed..or so I thought until the dusty green thing MOVED.
Gracie had slid something ALIVE under the door, and now it was locked in with me. Because of all of the dust, it was difficult initially to determine exactly what this creature was - until it hopped. A frog - she had found another frog to play with. And, it seemed she wanted me to enjoy playing with it too. YUCK!
Too make matters worse, I was now trapped in the bathroom with this little frog since opening the door right now was not an option. I knew that Gracie, and probably Benjamin Bunny, were waiting just outside to pounce on their "play prey" the moment I tried to exit. "Frogicide" was not something I wanted to deal with today.
The downstairs bathroom is a small half-bath with only a toilet and pedestal sink. There aren't many spots for hiding. And yet, this stupid frog managed to find the one perfect place. Before I could get a good grip on the tiny thing, it managed to leap from my hand to the floor and disappear under the narrow opening between the base of the pedestal sink and the floor. Ackkkkk!!!
It always seems that these types of things happen when you are in a hurry to be somewhere else. What to do now? I couldn't leave without catching this frog. The last thing I wanted was to come home and see frog parts scattered outside the bathroom door, which is what I would find if it made a vain attempt to escape. Nothing was going to tempt Gracie away from the bathroom door with the prospect of prey waiting inside. She can be very focused and patient when necessary.
Tapping on the porcelin sink pededstal stand didn't accomplish anything, nor did running water down the drain. The frog stayed put. Hoping to calm the frog down and lure it from its hiding place, I decided to try and leave the bathroom for a few minutes. I squeezed through the smallest size opening between the door and its frame I could fit through while body-blocking Gracie. Needless to say, she wasn't too happy that she couldn't her retrieve her "prething" yet.
Armed with a dustpan and brush, I attempted to return to the bathroom a few minutes later. But this time, Gracie was ready. And, so was the frog. I don't know who saw who first, but the result was total chaos.
The frog had emerged from hiding and was sitting in full view on the bath mat next to the toilet. As I leaned over to scoop it up with the dustpan, Gracie pounced causing the frog to leap right up at my face - not at all what I was expecting. Shrieking, I used the dustpan brush to bat the frog back into the dustpan while Gracie leaped in frustration all around my feet.
Each time I thought I had the frog secured between the dustpan and brush, Gracie would knock into me. This would cause my hands to move just enough to allow the frog to wiggle free and jump right at me AGAIN. I don't mind looking at frogs under microscope. Having them try to hop all over me is another matter. I was beginning to freak out.
It was time for this frog to leave my house. Once I got the frog back onto the dustpan, I held it against my body and ran for the front door. The moment I heard the door close behind me I began flailing the dust pan around in front of me so that the frog could jump off and escape into the yard.
It wouldn't let go. It hung onto the dustpan for all it was worth. I had to pick it off and drop it onto the porch to get rid of it. I felt sure that it would immediately take off for the safety of the surrounding bushes. Not this frog. Once safely back inside the house, I peeked through the glass window on the door. The frog was still there staring back at me. Did this frog have some kind of a death wish? Did it actually enjoy being the "ball" in Gracie's under the door game of frog ball? Did I put myself through all of this for nothing? Surely not.
About this time, I realized that I was now REALLY running late. Luckily, I was too tired both mentally and physically to care. Life would have to wait until I could reenergize with a hot cup of coffee and some chocolate. Both of which I planned to enjoy peacefully and in private...a possibility since both Gracie and Benjamin Bunny were sitting next to the front door waiting for my husband to accidentally let the suicidal frog back in the house.
Until next time, remember...
Prowling his own quiet backyard or asleep by the fire, he is still only a whisker away from the wilds.
- Jean Burden